When garden entertainment goes wrong

Sometimes it’s funny, other times not so much. There are some alarming stats out there about accidents in the garden, with the National Accident Helpline finding 33% of 2000 people saying they’ve injured themselves out there, surpassed only by kitchen injuries. For a person who’s into garden entertainment, it makes interesting reading.

Ouch, that smarts

Apparently 33% of garden injuries are down to exercise equipment, 20.5% are ladder-related, 9.7% involve a hosepipe and 9.3% are lawnmower-led. RoSPA says 300,000 people a year are hurt in their gardens badly enough to go to hospital. Blimey.

Garden canes and sticks are responsible for 1800 garden accidents a year, a poke in the eye none of us wants, while hoses and sprinklers cause 1900 blue-air swearing sessions per annum. Garden forks and shears are clearly a nightmare waiting to happen. Plant tubs and troughs cause their fair share of carnage.

Electric hedge trimmers and chainsaws are lethal by the look of it, but simpler things like spades, forks and rakes can just as easily cause mayhem and chaos. Add secateurs, pruners and lawnmowers to the party and the risks soon pile up. And to top it all off, plants are poisonous and sometimes painfully thorny. It’s a wonder any of us dare spend time outdoors 😉

When garden furniture goes wrong

A few unfortunate types do themselves a mischief falling over their garden furniture, a risk faced when you’re three sheets to the wind, it’s dark or you’re in a garden you haven’t been before. That’s where solar garden lighting comes in handy, showing people the way along paths and steps after dusk.

Walking the walk

Some people manage the risks of garden entertainment with impressive aplomb. If you have never seen a guest walk, drunk, across a pitch black lawn, through a hedge, into the garden pond, through it and out again, through another hedge then into the house – all without spilling a drop of their pint – you can imagine how impressive that sight would be.

OMG call 999!

Garden entertaining life is all about barbies, cooking outdoors for those flavours you can’t get any other way. But where there’s smoke and fire, there are accidents. Take the man – you know who you are – who assumed the barbecue fire was out and cold, tipped the ash into a plastic bucket for disposal, wandered indoors and managed to set the entire garden fence on fire. It was hit-and-miss fencing, which costs a fortune to replace. Sigh.

Food glorious food

BBQ food tastes like no other but you can poison your besties unless you cook the meat and fish fully. Here’s some expert advice on BBQ food safety.

Garden entertainment safety tips

Time for some tips, mostly common sense.

• Be extra careful after drinks
• Set up your garden furniture so there’s enough room for people to move around it, and get in and out of their seats
• Keep the ground clear so people don’t fall over things
• Plastic glasses are safer than glass
• If your BBQ has an exposed gas hose, cover it with a special cover like they use to hide cables in offices
• Clean the decking so it isn’t slippery – and the same with the patio
• Kids and dogs get over-excited, and so do grown-ups, so devise a simple strategy to keep everyone from doing nutty things
• Don’t let anyone mess with fire, whatever the source
• Make sure the fire is properly out before removing the ash
• Keep lighters and matches away from children
• Clear up as you go along so there’s never so much mess it turns into a hazard
• Have a proper fire blanket